Sunday, 16 August 2015

Losing your identity after having a baby

So you've just had a baby and the sleepless nights, pooey nappies and being sicked on is never ending. You start to wonder when things will be normal like they were before baby...newsflash...never!
Before I fell pregnant I was quite high maintenance; I went to the hairdressers religiously, my brows always tamed and lovely manicured nails oh and of course lovely stylish clothes and expensive handbags. After Joey was born I really struggled to come to terms with not feeling like myself. Because I was breast feeding for 10 weeks that made me lose a bit of baby weight but when I stopped breast feeding the weight piled on. So not being able to fit back into pre pregnancy clothes is upsetting and having to buy new clothes in a size 14 is just depressing to me. I've always taken pride in my image especially working in fashion retail, I miss not having manicured nails and being able to straighten my hair when I want. My idea of a pamper these days is finding 10 mins while Joey is having a nap to jump in the shower.

A few months ago I posted the above pictures and I really miss the girl in these photo's. I miss wearing new/stylish clothes, straightening my hair and having makeup on. The reality now is that i mainly have clothes just for knocking around the house, I wash my hair maybe once or twice a week and have to pull it up into a pony tail. I know changing how I look is down to exercise and dieting but I don't have the time or money to join a gym and trying to do exercise at home is impossible. It's not just how I look it's also about getting out as a couple without Joey, we don't go out a lot and sometimes I really miss just nipping out for a meal.

Ofcourse, I knew that life would change dramatically when Joey arrived but I just didn't realise how much it would affect me mentally. Hopefully once he's in nursery and doesn't rely on me as much then things might be different. I don't for one minute consider Joey as an inconvenience, he's my son and I love him more than anything.

Has anyone else felt the same? I'd love to know your feelings about this.

Thanks for reading


  1. Lolly, you are not alone on this one!! I felt like this and still feel it a lot too, I miss having nicely manicured eyebrows and painted nails. I think these days I get my hair cut about once a year (if that) and the ponytail is my favourite look and dry shampoo is my best friend most days. I see other mums looking so great and I think were on earth do they they get the time, peace and energy from. As they get older it does get easier so do not fear, although I have two so now whilst I'm trying to shower they see that as the perfect opportunity to pick a fight with each other and on the odd occasions I try to do my makeup them being girls like to 'help out' too. x

  2. I think we all feel this way to an extent, life seems to continue and you feel a little cut off from others when you have someone dependant on you. Doing what you want takes a back seat and although we love our children to death sometimes you just want to be able to have a shower and shave your legs without the thought of everything else those few minutes could be used for.
    My little one starts nursery next week and I will then hopefully be able to finally go to the gym, lose weight and feel more like me again.
    I hope you do too x

  3. You are absolutely not alone. Just had my second and feel like this all over again. Its hard work but will be worth it. You need to be so organised and plan everything! Thats what worked for me. Good luck x