Monday, 1 February 2016

When is the right time for baby number 2

As I write this Joey is currently 19 months old and we always get asked "When's baby number 2?" Or "Do you want another child?". So this will be an honest post as to why we're not planning baby number 2 yet.

Firstly, let me just say that I would love to have another child and I think Chris has warmed to the idea of adding to our little family at some point too. When we had Joey I never really thought about whether I wanted a 2nd child, I was too busy taking it day by day with Joey. As the months have gone on however and I hear of people I know getting pregnant, I get a tinge in my stomach. Am I jealous??? I don't think it's jealousy, finding out that you're pregnant is a wonderful thing and then the arrival of your baby is one of the most amazing moments of your life. I had such a smooth pregnancy with Joey that I would love to go through pregnancy again. I think I just miss the motions of discovering your pregnancy and the journey you go through until that baby arrives.  Their is no doubt that we would love a second child, a sibling for Joey, but their are a few factors why it won't be happening yet.

With Joey being our first, I want to learn as much as possible from him. I don't want it to sound like he's my Guinea pig, I just want to feel more confident in my job as a mum before another one comes along. Their are things I would change or do differently with a second child so knowing/experiencing things first time round will help for the future. I've never had in my mind that I'd want a second child so close in age, I ideally would want a sibling for Joey once he starts school.

Childcare is a big issue for us at the moment. We have no family on either side so having a night off is just never going to happen for us. Also daycare is so expensive, we can just about afford to put Joey in nursery at the moment. I've also just got back into work after being made redundant 3 months into my maternity leave, I've been working part time for 5 months now and I'd like to find something full time with better pay. Our financial position factors in a lot, having a child is expensive, theirs a lot of stuff to buy...I totally haven't missed shelling out £8 for a tub of formula. Ideally I want Joey to be in school and have had a full time job for a few years before getting pregnant again.

Something that I've never discussed on here also determines whether we have another child or not. A few years ago Chris had to have a testical removed after a cyst was found. We were told at the time that their was a 50% chance of falling pregnant with just the one testical. So from then on we pretty much dismissed any idea of having kids. After we got married in 2010 we ditched the contraception but were still careful as I was at uni for the next 3 years. We'd never had a pregnancy scare at all so just thought it would never happen for us. Then in 2013 I suppose you could say we started trying properly and we finally got pregnant. Is Joey our miracle baby then?

So that's my stance on baby number 2, is their a right time??? If it happens sooner than expected then ofcourse we'll find a way to cope, lots of other parents do.

Thanks for reading 

1 comment:

  1. Everyone is different! My son, Ben is 3 in April, I've wanted a 2nd since he turned 2. But my boyfriend doesn't (I have been trying to persuade him, but no luck yet!). It does cost a LOT! We decided to keep everything, so would only need new clothes really (and I would love a co-sleeper and a wrap to make things a bit easier).

    There is no right time, some people want children really close together and some want them years apart.